Following a Wife's Direction
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Tap an underlined Tamil word to explore its sound, meaning, and use.
naṭṭār kuṟaimuṭiyār naṉṟāṟṟār naṉṉutalāṭ / peṭṭāṅ koḻuku pavar.
In its ancient patriarchal frame, the couplet says: those who live as the beautiful-browed wife wishes cannot relieve their friends' needs, nor do virtuous deeds.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Who to the will of her with beauteous brow their lives conform, / Aid not their friends in need, nor acts of charity perform.”
“Behold the men that allow themselves to be governed by their wives: they will not satisfy the wants of their friends, neither will they do anything that is good.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
நன்னுதலாள் பெட்டாங்கு ஒழுகுபவர்= தாம் வேண்டியவாறன்றித் தம் மனையாள் வேண்டியவாறு ஒழுகுவார்; நட்டார்குறை முடியார்= தம்மொடு நட்புச் செய்தார் உற்ற குறைமுடிக்க மாட்டார்; நன்று ஆற்றார்= அதுவேயன்றி மறுமைக்குத் துணையாய அறஞ்செய்யவு மாட்டார்.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar glosses the phrase as a man who lives not as he himself judges but as his beautiful-browed wife wishes. He gives two separate consequences: such a person cannot complete a need that has come to a friend, and, beyond that, cannot perform virtue that supports the life to come. The assumption that male judgement should rule is historically patriarchal and is not endorsed. In a modern partnership, consultation, compromise, and a genuine change of mind are healthy. The useful warning concerns handing any partner or peer automatic control of one's moral agency, so that promised help to a friend and wider good action are both left unfinished. Ordinary disagreement is not abuse; where real coercion removes choice, the controller is responsible.