Examining Friendship
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āyntāyntu koḷḷātāṉ kēṇmai kaṭaimuṟai / tāṉcān tuyaran tarum.
Friendship formed without examining a person again and again will, in the end, bring its maker grief capable of destroying him.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Alliance with the man you have not proved and proved again, / In length of days will give you mortal pain.”
“Behold the man that maketh men his friends without previously testing them: he courteth disasters which will only end in his death.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
ஆய்ந்து ஆய்ந்து கேண்மை கொள்ளாதான்= குணமும் செய்கையும் நல்லன் என்பது, பலகாலும் பலவாற்றானும் ஆராய்ந்து ஒருவனோடு நட்புக்கொள்ளாதவன்; கடைமுறை தான் சாம் துயரம் தரும்= முடிவில் தான் சாதற்கு ஏதுவாய துன்பத்தினைத் தன் மாற்றார் விளைக்கவேண்டாமல் தானே விளைக்கும்.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar explains that one should examine, over time and in different ways, whether a person's character and conduct are good before forming a friendship. One who fails to do so may finally create, without any enemy's help, suffering severe enough to destroy himself. This is forceful classical rhetoric about ruin, not an instruction toward self-harm.