Examining Friendship
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uḷḷaṟka vuḷḷañ ciṟukuva koḷḷaṟka / vallaṟka ṇāṟṟaṟuppār naṭpu.
Do not contemplate actions that shrink your resolve; do not form friendship with those who sever their support when suffering comes.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Think not the thoughts that dwarf the soul; nor take / For friends the men who friends in time of grief forsake.”
“Think not the thoughts that depress the heart: nor make the friendship of men who will abandon thee the moment thou art down.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
உள்ளம் சிறுகுவ உள்ளற்க= தம் ஊக்கம் சுருங்குதற்குக் காரணமாய வினைகளைச் செய்ய நினையாது ஒழிக; அல்லற்கண் ஆற்று அறுப்பார் நட்புக் கொள்ளற்க= அதுபோலத் தமக்கு ஒருதுன்பம் வந்துழிக் கைவிடுவார் நட்பினைக் கொள்ளாது ஒழிக.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar explains two parallel prohibitions: do not even intend actions that cause one’s resolve to contract, and do not form friendship with people who leave when suffering comes. The first concerns self-defeating undertakings; the second concerns deliberate desertion under hardship. A necessary safety boundary, bringing qualified help, or honestly lacking capacity is not the abandonment condemned here.