Long-Standing Friendship
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pētaimai yoṉṟō peruṅkiḻamai yeṉṟuṇarka / nōtakka naṭṭār ceyiṉ.
If an established friend does something that causes pain, first understand its cause as either ignorance or excessive familiar liberty.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Not folly merely, but familiar carelessness, / Esteem it, when your friends cause you distress.”
“When friends do a thing that paineth thee, account thou it as much to their feeling of perfect oneness with thee as to their ignorance.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
நோதக்க நட்டார் செயின்= தாம் வெறுக்கத்தக்கனவற்றை நட்டார் செய்தாராயின்; பேதைமை ஒன்றோ பெரும் கிழமை என்று உணர்க= அதற்குக்காரணம் ஒன்றிற் பேதைமை யென்றாதல், ஒன்றின் மிக்கஉரிமை என்றாதல் கொள்க.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar explains that when an established friend does something distressing or objectionable, one should understand its cause as either ignorance in that matter or an excess of familiar liberty.