Following a Wife's Direction
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Tap an underlined Tamil word to explore its sound, meaning, and use.
pēṇātu peṇviḻaivā ṉākkam periyatōr / nāṇāka nāṇut tarum.
In its ancient patriarchal frame, the couplet says: wealth gained by a man who abandons masculine self-rule in pursuit of his wife's femininity becomes a great disgrace and brings him shame.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Who gives himself to love of wife, careless of noble name / His wealth will clothe him with o'erwhelming shame.”
“Behold the man who hath an abject infatuation for his wife: in the very midst of his prosperity he will be a byword among men, and he will have to hide his face in shame.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
பேணாது பெண்விழைவான் ஆக்கம்= தன் ஆண்மையை விட்டு மனையாளது பெண்மையை விழைவான் எய்திநின்ற செல்வம்; பெரியது ஓர் நாணாக நாணுத் தரும்= இவ்வுலகத்து ஆண்பாலார்க்கெல்லாம் பெரியதோர் நாணுண்டாகத் தனக்கும் நாணுதலைக் கொடுக்கும்.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar says that the wealth acquired by a man who abandons his masculinity and pursues his wife's femininity becomes a great cause of disgrace among other men and makes him ashamed. This reflects an ancient patriarchal judgement about masculinity, femininity, and marital authority. In an equal modern partnership, listening, sharing power, and deciding together are not shameful; the safer analogy is any person's freely chosen abandonment of ethical judgement for romantic approval, making the resulting gain a source of regret and accountability.