Following a Wife's Direction
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illāḷkaṭ ṭāḻnta viyalpiṉmai yeññāṉṟu / nallāru ṇāṇut tarum.
In its ancient patriarchal frame, the couplet says: the fear that lowers a man before his wife continually brings him shame among the good.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Who to his wife submits, his strange, unmanly mood / Will daily bring him shame among the good.”
“The weakling who humbleth himself before his wife will always be ashamed to show his face before the worthy.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
இல்லாள்கண் தாழ்ந்த இயல்பு இன்மை= ஒருவன் இல்லாள்மாட்டுத் தாழ்தற்கு ஏதுவாய அச்சம்; நல்லாருள் நாணு எஞ்ஞான்றும் தரும்= அஃதிலராய நல்லாரிடைச் செல்லுங்கால், நாணுதலை அவனுக்கு எக்காலத்தும் கொடுக்கும்.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar explains ‘lack of character in lowering oneself before a wife’ as fear that makes a man lower himself toward her. Whenever he enters the company of good people who do not have that fear, it causes him shame. This uses an old patriarchal standard of male superiority. In an equal modern relationship, respect, consultation, and compromise are not degradation; when threats or control reduce anyone's agency, the controlled person should receive safety and support rather than blame.