Examining Friendship
.
Tap an underlined Tamil word to explore its sound, meaning, and use.
aḻaccolli yalla tiṭittu vaḻakkaṟiya / vallārnaṭ pāyntu koḷal.
Choose, after examination, the friendship of those who can make the pain of wrongdoing understood, rebuke it firmly, and guide you back to proper conduct.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“Make them your chosen friend whose words repentance move, / With power prescription's path to show, while evil they reprove.”
“Look for the men who know the way of the wise and can reprove and chastise thee whenever thou go astray: and make them thy friends.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
அல்லது அழச் சொல்லி= தாம் உலகவழக்கல்லது செய்யக் கருதின், சோகம் பிறக்கும்வகை சொல்லி விலக்கியும்; இடித்து= செய்தக்கால் பின்னும் செய்யாவகை நெருக்கியும்; வழக்கு அறிய வல்லார்= அவ்வழக்குச் செய்யாவழிச் செய்விக்கவும் வல்லாரை; ஆய்ந்து நட்புக்கொளல்= ஆராய்ந்து நட்புக் கொள்க.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar explains that when a person intends conduct outside the accepted good way, a true friend describes the sorrow it will cause and turns the person aside. If the wrong has already been done, the friend rebukes firmly enough to prevent repetition and can guide the person toward proper conduct. One should examine and choose the friendship of people capable of such correction. A humane modern reading distinguishes this from humiliation, abuse, or control: the correction protects dignity while stopping harm.